Yesterday I went on a huge rant about how angry I was that I didn’t go with my first instincts and do what I wanted. Instead I listened to everyone else who meant well but ended up pretty much convinced me to shelf my show for the last four months.
You know what she said? Why didn’t you just do it your way to begin with? Uh..excuse me?! It has taken me nearly twenty years to prove to my mother that I have skills. It has taken me twenty years to convince her that I can do more then be her care taker and now at twenty-nine years old she tells me she believes in me? My world is in a tail spin.
Even more shocking I am going to listen to her. For the first time ever. From now on I am going to do what I want and stop listening to all the buzzing bees in my head who know better and what not.
A few months ago I really thought I had put together a really great team. Now I have my partner who’s been amazingly supportive but that’s pretty much all we have. Our show is in shambles, many of those who were there at the beginning telling me how great I was doing who told me that I should reach for the world right out of the gate, their gone. I have no idea where.
I know in my heart that I can have an effect on those around me. I know with my soul that I am on the right path and that while there may have been some stumbles and some shatters, everything is going to go exactly where it is supposed to be.
For the first time in my life things are not perfect but they are okay. The Chaos swirls around me and I have begun to learn how to ignore the buzz and just be. That is really fucking awesome.
So here’s another puzzle piece to Finding the Ohna: Follow your instincts