Looking for the perfect Mate? Look Harder at yourself

Hair Extensions: 130 dollars, Nails pro done 50 dollars, Make up expertly applied by self 60 dollars Loss of self respect the night this photo was taken? Absolutely Priceless. (This was 1 week after he’d called me a whore on his radio show charmer huh?)

I am 29 years old single and live with my mom and my dog. To be fair she’s in a wheelchair and he’s just awesome. That however is not why you are here. You want to know what a single woman like me has to offer to you. Perhaps I just want to toot my own horn. Really I do actually have something of importance to offer you.

How to find the ideal mate. It sounds oh so simple.

Even after reading this you are going to roll your eyes and ignore pretty much 99% of what I say because inevitably you know better. Only you don’t because you are here. Hah! I win. Anyways I digress.

To understand where I am going you must first understand I was single for several years after numerous bad relationships always dating the same kind of guy, you know the type…mean abusive and cruel with a side of bat shit insane? I swear it’s the truth.

No matter where I looked I kept dating the same guy until I stopped dating having decided that all men were just evil bastards. Only they weren’t. It wasn’t that all men are awful it is that my standards were low.

I was low, having no idea what I had to offer the world I took whatever was given to me thinking it was what I deserved. Eventually I found myself taking stalk of my life – learning about me and doing some serious soul searching. Until I realized I am awesome and it took awhile but yes I did eventually find my “Awesomesauce”.

Now about six months ago I met a man who of course I thought would be different- and before you roll your eyes understand I wasn’t looking for anything. It just happened, I liked him and I thought he liked me. I also thought that he was kind generous and lovely even though my friends knew right away he was a dick. I didn’t (of course) listen.

“It’s a growing period” I would say “He’s mad because of his friends it’ll be fine” I would make excuse after excuse for his behavior. When in reality he was and is a fat drunk mean man living in his mom’s basement.

Of course I didn’t listen. Of course every time he got mean it was my fault because I was too needy or I wasn’t communicating enough. I wasn’t funny enough and I didn’t give him enough space. The funny thing is that when we ended our communication with each other I realized my friends were right. He was a dick. Even more so when I spoke with him a few months later. I had changed everything about myself for this man my hair clothes nails everything.

For this guy I barely knew, who called me a whore in front of his friends and went out of his way to embarrass me because it was what his friends expected. What the hell was I thinking?! Who was this mouse that had gone through years of abuse and neglect only to end up at square one?! This was a girl not ready for a relationship that’s for sure. This was a girl who had found her awesomeness and then proceeded to let it go on the off chance this guy was “the one” HA! I knew better then and I know better now.

So how do you find the ideal mate? The answer is really quite simple. Take a look at what is going on in your life your head and your heart and ask yourself if you are really ready for a relationship. The answer may surprise you.

The truth is you can’t find the “ideal” mate until you yourself are happy in your own life. If you find that you seem to be attracting the exact same kind of man over and over again maybe, just maybe it isn’t the man but perhaps it is you. What are you doing in your life that is pulling these negative soul draining men to you? How can you change that? I bet if you have made it to the end of this article you already know.

I also learned that the awesome person I am when I am single is what attracts the men that find me appealing. So making changes to that person to impress them when we are together? Not all that likely to work.



One thought on “Looking for the perfect Mate? Look Harder at yourself

  1. hello SYN it has been some time. i just clicked on the linky and i arrived at this page. very nice written advice indeed 😀 hope all is well with the spreaker stuffs and in your parts of the interwebbingz. well…see ya around o

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