After The Laughter

For those of you who do not know that reference, it is to one of my favorite songs of all time by a woman named “Lady Popcorn“.

The song talks a lot about how after the laughter comes the sadness. What the song does not talk about though is that life if it can be compared to anything, should be compared to a carousel. There are some things that stick forever, like the animals on the ride.The thing about a carousel is that you can always chose to get off the ride. Just like in life. You can choose to live, or choose to die.

Through out my life I have chosen a hundred times to stop the ride, to get off and escape from the darkness that surrounds me, it never worked. I choose to believe that there is a higher power who has a plan for me. That plan does not include looking backwards for anything more then learning how it is I came to be in this place, at this time, doing the things I am doing.

Someone asked me today if I was broken. It is one of the most ironic questions I have been asked in the last year. It was meant as a joke, but it that one question “Are You Broken?” Those three little words answered so many questions for me.

Am I Broken? For the first time in a very long time I can answer No to that question.

I am not Broken. 

I am strong and wise, I am brilliant and beautiful. I am neither pure nor perfect, I have made mistakes and I have broken hearts, I have lied and I have hurt others, but through it all I have learned to find my Ohna, my true self. I have realized my calling isn’t about being famous or making money, it is about taking the lessons I have learned through the pain and loss I have suffered and using them to inspire others.

Finding Ohna isn’t just about me any more. It isn’t about throwing myself into the Universe and seeing what comes out the other side. It is a record of all I have been through and I hope in time, some of you will feel comfortable enough to share your own stories here.

I have a lot of changes planned for this site, and I am not sure how any of them will work out or if they will but I look forward to finding out.

See you on the flip side.