I am Slane Girl

Aya de Leon

When I was in my teens and early 20s, I made more than one unwise sexual decision. Maybe because I wanted a guy to like me. Maybe I was afraid of his anger or potential violence. Maybe he was a boyfriend I didn’t want to emotionally withdraw. But in the era before the Internet, there was only the small, localized consequence of having betrayed myself. Nowadays, sexism teaches young women that their value is sexual and that their job is to please men. And then the society equips everyone to catch that moment on camera. And then the young woman is trashed by the very sexist system that conditioned her to do the behavior in the first place.
The camera phones and upload capabilities are different now, but the push-you-to-do-it, punish-you-for-doing-it is the same as 20 years ago when I was a young woman. Here is where the Internet wants…

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Finding Ohna, Writing Challenge

To anyone and everyone, “Ohna” is different depending on who you are and your lifestyle. For me it’s that three moments during an orgasm when the world stops – it is waking up to the world being absolutely silent even though the sun is shining. It’s that perfect moment where I smile just for the sake of smiling.It’s dancing around my house butt naked just because I feel like dancing around naked. Part of FindingOhna.com is about sharing my journey and while that has been very great I’m really curious to see what your “Ohna” is. It’s a made up word so it can be anything that feels right to you. To me it’s that moment that helps me realize the kind of person I am, and more importantly the kind of person I want to be. So with that being said here is the challenge.

  1. Take this button; Image and post it in your blog.
  2. your post should be no less than 400 words
  3. Make sure to leave a comment under this post with a link to your blog.
  4. the post should be described your version of “Ohna” and how you found it.
  5. The deadline is October 15th 2013 – Posts later than that will not be reblogged on Finding The Ohna

As a side note, I’d like to add I will reblog all posts submitted as stated, by the 15th of October. 🙂 This event will run from the 1st to the 15th of each month.

That’s it. A link back to this blog isn’t required but it’d be nice. I hope you enjoy taking the time to discover your ohna and sharing your journey, I know I look forward to reading each of your blogs.

Letter to my readers

I was inspired to write this by one of the most amazing blogs I have ever “stumbledupon”. It’s called “Lucy’s Football” first off she’s a Buffy fan so automatically I’m in love because I am obsessed with Buffy. I’ve seen every season about eight times – and thats without owning the series. 

But on to why I’m writing this letter. 

I’m not nor will I ever be a famous blogger. I do not have thousands of readers and I probably never will. I am however shy, self conscious and constantly surprised at my talent. For the first time in months I went through some of my pieces here and on FO and I was shocked at how some of them were actually well written. 

I didn’t expect that. My friend Barrie laughs at me a lot because as much as I love to write, I’m still surprised when I realize I’m good at it. 

However I am very very shy, and I’m nervous. Because what happens if I do end up with a thousand or more readers? What if I actually take the time and effort to invest in my blogging and I fail at it miserably? What if I spend thirty years writing but nothing comes of it, I never write the great Canadian Novel?

I wrote something similar about this on FO, and I realized that none of that matters. So I guess I want to say I’m sorry if I don’t update this site very often, I’m sorry if I write rambling crap that you have absolutely no interest in. I’m sorry if I don’t ask for your thoughts and opinions every time I post, but please know you are certainly welcome to add your thoughts any day any hour you choose. 

Finding Ohna should and hopefully will be a place to exchange ideas and suggestions – it’s a place for people who have spent a great deal of time trying to find themselves, and much like the amazing author of “Lucy’s Football” I am still unbaked cookies, I’m still baking so I hope you’ll bare with me and give me  the time to become apart of the WP community, and allow me the time I need to keep baking. 


I’m ready. I’m cookies.

Lucy’s Football

I’m going to let you in on something I’m not at all proud of.

In college, I was a huge dick.

I’m not even exaggerating. I had my moments of NOT being a dick, but overall? Huge, huge dick. I thought I knew everything, and I was drinking, like, constantly, and when I wasn’t drinking I was crying or throwing shit around or overreacting about something and being a total theater queen or going on and on and ON about something and the sheer fact that people that knew me back then still want to talk to me kind of amazes me, to be honest.

Now, I know. College-age is a shitty time for a lot of people. We’re just babies when we’re that age. I look at kids that age now and I seriously think, “OMG, you are just a BABY” and usually I forgive them a lot of…

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Do You Credit yourself enough?

When was the last time you looked around your life and went, “Damn, I’m awesome?”…I don’t know about you but I don’t think I’ve ever done that. 

Even after creating Skinnbonesglobal.com, even after the facebook page and the events and the many people who have come to me to say “hey thanks for seeing me – for acknowledging my pain” I have yet to stop and say “wow I’ve done something great”. It just isn’t part of my make-up. 

And yet knowing that, knowing that I’m not the person to credit myself and this I am fully aware leads to serious self conscious issues. 

We’re taught that a good polite person doesn’t pat themselves on the back, we’re taught that we have to wait for other people to compliment us. That is what a good polite person does. 

Well, excuse my french but fuck that. 

Maybe you meditate or you get your nails done but do you ever stop and look at your life and say “Yeah, I’ve done good and I’ve earned this”? Out loud?

Some of you may think I’m absolutely crazy but I think we need to do that. We need to take the time to congratulate ourselves and to take stalk of our lives. To organize our accomplishments, because yeah sure it may be polite to wait for other people to compliment us, but wouldn’t it be nice if we just stopped to appriciate ourselves, without having to wait? 

Just a thought. 

Self Sabotage

For those of us who have ever suffered the dark hand of abuse self sabotage comes in handy. It’s our self-defence mechanism to protect us from getting hurt. If you are a habitual reader of this site then you know there are times when I post a lot and times I post almost nothing. Some of that comes from writers block and some of it comes from the fact that the idea of actually seeing this blog become a “success” is scary as fuck.

It’s scary because writing a “successful” blog takes commitment, and anyone who has been through what I have will fully understand that commitment is a no go. People like us never want to commit because hey what if we put our heart and souls into something that doesn’t work out? What if we fail?

Last night I had the opportunity to speak to Mike who runs the Phoenix Center here in Surrey BC. It’s a very successful very powerful recovery center. He is a very influential man with a lot of friends in high places. He is also a man who spent years recovering from his addiction to drugs.

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