So in the last four to six months, this happened:
I adopted a sixteen year old kid with no where to live.
I set up guidelines she had to live by since you know we were feeding her and she wasn’t giving us a dime. Small things like take out the trash, walk the dog, clean the bathroom. That was it, little stuff as a way to not only realize nothing in this world is free, but also because I had no intention of cleaning up after and cooking for 3 grown human beings without anyone pitching in.
As time went on she decided she’d rather live on her own so out she moved.
Sure fine whatever, what she refuses to acknowledge is that she moved out because she didn’t like having rules, she didn’t like people telling her she had to go to school and for god sakes please stop acting like your the only person ever who ever went anything crap and oh yeah would it kill you to say thanks once in awhile? Apparently it almost did.
Anyyyyyyyywho so I call up my buddy and I bitch and I moan and I complain because hey I was hurt and upset that the very people who should have said “no wait a minute, they have rules, your living there rent free, you should be pitching in” not only didn’t but taught her an important life lesson: “When someone goes out of their way to help you, feel free to stomp on them walk away and do whatever the fuck you want until you get sick of the rules at the next place”
On the other side of the coin. That friend that I was bitching moaning and complaining to?
Well years ago this same friend stabbed me in the back – in such a horrid way I thought we’d never talk again. But hey me being me I decided no let us let bygones be bygones and we’ll work on our relationship, only for him to DO IT AGAIN. This time this friend decided to go and repeat every word I said (and apparently added some I did not say) in a moment of weakness, to people he’d known for a total of about three weeks. Rather than back up a friend he’d known for years – a friend he’d already betrayed once.
So ALL that drama later and it finally hit me:
People seriously suck. No matter how you spin it or which way you set the plane down, people will disappoint you because hey it is in our nature to just be dicks. Some people on a regular basis just wake up and decide to be retarded.
Whelp. That is it for me.
I have always been the person who would give chance after chance to those I love thinking maybe they’ll get it right – maybe it’s better to be treated like shit than be alone. Meanwhile on this blog saying the exact opposite. So I’ve made a decision. From here on out I will live my life as I please and those who choose to make the attempt to fall in line are welcome to join me, and those who look at me and see the words “sucker’ on my forehead, you better run because I don’t have time for your shit this week, this month year century or lifetime.
I spent 25 years being told I wasn’t good enough, strong enough or smart enough – I was told that I was too fat, too ugly and unworthy. Only in the last five years I learned that was all a lie and I will be damned as hell if I let anyone tear down the confidence that I finally found within myself.
Yeah seems I am getting wise at long last.