When the universe Speaks, It Screams

Aries Horoscope Today: Your heart will point you in the right direction today and if you are smart you won’t ask questions, you will just go where it tells you to go. Relationships are under excellent stars, so tell someone you love them.

Today was a crazy day, I had to go see my doctor today to get my morphine refill – we talked for awhile, and when I headed out I went over to a local store to buy a few things, but none of that is the important stuff;

On my way back from North Delta (A place I hate with all my heart, but that’s a story for another day) I called up my friend T. T has been having a really rough time lately in his life and so I decided to give him a call. One of the first things he said when he met up for coffee was “Right before you called I was asking for an angel and then you showed up”. I found that to be incredibly humbling and king.

I can’t tell you much about T because I want to protect his identity and privacy but I can tell you this: In one of the darkest periods of my life he was there kicking my ass and challenging me to not only do more for myself but to want more for myself. He used to tell me to be careful of who I let into my life because not everyone was going to be genuine, or even give a shit.

He was my rock when I was in the darkest possible place and while I’m not sure if he knows it, he saved my life. So to hear him say he wanted an angel and I showed up? That goes beyond a compliment, beyond paying it forward – I called him because in truth I needed him and it was the first time I realized someone  “needed me more than I needed them”. I didn’t do it because I want to help him or even to make him feel better, I picked up the phone because I love him and he is hurting and I don’t want him to be alone.

During our coffee another friend showed up – someone who is going through an equally hard time – even though he refuses to admit he has a problem right now. I had to make a decision, and so not for the first time in my life, I walked away from someone I love because while he may be willingly letting himself into the danger zone I can’t watch. Not because I don’t care but because I am currently in a place where I could be in the danger zone and I cannot let anyone else’s problems over shadow my own. To do that would be to sign my own death warrant. Now don’t get me wrong, I love our mutual friend and when he’s ready to admit he needs help I will be there in a heart beat wearing fucking bells on my shoes, but in order to protect myself, I just cannot support his state of mind. I hope you understand that. (She said speaking to the anonymous friend.)

During all of this I ran into a few people I had met in recovery, for the most part all of them doing well and being successful, all of whom people I had helped or that had personally reached out to help me when I was scared and alone. The universe is stalking me…again.

After that whole interesting late afternoon I went to momma’ loves office and I found my breath of fresh air. Sitting there was a woman I absolutely adore – which is funny because frankly when we first met she annoyed the hell out of me. She was so damned nice, and happy and amazing, and I next to her felt like a shrinking ugly violet.

None of this was her fault, it’s just that she happened to meet me when I was in a very dark and negative place. It was so wonderful to see her again, to talk with her and know that although she is quite ill she’s working hard to get better. It was sad to see how much weight she has lost due to her illness (we don’t know what it is yet nor would I post it here for her sake.) but she’s alive and still working to help refugee’s from all over the world. She’s amazing and she is an inspiration, she is truly one of those people that make you think Angels walk the earth.

I am humbled by her and while this seems like a bit over the top –  the truth is that she is the kind of person who challenges you to do better for yourself and the world around you. So obviously walking into see her was  true utter delight and pleasure.

Over the years I have taken so many cab rides to and fro that I have gotten to know the drivers from one particular company really quite well. They know my mom, (they ask about her as soon as I get in the car) many of them have met my dog whalley and sometimes even have a treat for him when they know I’m their fair for the day.

I told her all about SNBG and invited her to come help because this girl has some really amazing stories. She’s travelled the world to help others just because she could, so I know she’d  be a great influence with the youth.

So after she left I called a cab to head home – by this time my cheek and neck and throat were really hurting and I just wanted to go home for the day, the Universe had other plans.

I really like (most) of the drivers from this company because they are good people, good kind people. The interesting thing is that almost every driver I’ve ever had from this particular company, is Indian. It’s always interesting to me to meet people from different cultures and beliefs, because hey their different, more unique then I am used to. I really enjoy taking the time to find out and dissect who these people are – first off because I am genuinely interested – but also because we do not always take the time to get to know the people who provide services for us like driving our cabs, making our meals etc.

This particular driver and I got talking about books and he (an Indian male which is only important due to the conversation we were having) told me that he really enjoyed reading self help books – books that inspired you to do more and be more for the world around you. I mentioned to him that I am trying hard to be more grateful – to practice more of what the Muslim’s of the world do – in the Muslim culture you pray five times a day. This could be to say thank you, or to simply reflect on your life and take the time to realize how great you have it. I mentioned also how sometimes I forget or sometimes it’s just hard to find five times a day to sit in meditative thought.

His response was this:

It doesn’t matter what religion you are, or what you believe in, every book in the world, take the men out of it, take the women out of it, each book tells you to be a good person. That is the lesson you can and should take from all religions. 

That is absolutely the truth. I believe that with my whole heart – it doesn’t matter which book you find your philosophy in, as long as you do the best you can for the world around you at all times. That is what is truly important.

What do you think? Has the Universe stalked you lately? Shown you any signs? leave a comment below.

 

 

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